On being really good

Have you ever told someone “wow, you’re really good at SOMETHING”, where SOMETHING could be mean “good at tennis” or “knowledgable about history”, or anything else, and then you get the reply

“Oh, thanks, but I’m not really that good”

Sometimes it’s the person being humble. Sometimes it’s not.

I tend to notice this where it’s something that the person works hard at. To work hard at something means that you’re working to improve things that you aren’t satisfied with. So, when someone says “you’re really good at this”, the person looks at things from their own point-of-view and sees any number of issues they’re still not satisfied with.

This type of person is also likely to continue improving. Their cup isn’t full yet.

A university professor went to visit a famous Zen master. While the master quietly served tea, the professor talked about Zen. The master poured the visitor’s cup to the brim, and then kept pouring. The professor watched the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself. “It’s overfull! No more will go in!” the professor blurted. “You are like this cup,” the master replied, “How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup.”

— Zen Stories To Tell Your Neighbors  – Empty Your Cup

Watch for this pattern in life. I see it often.

If money doesn’t make you happy, you aren’t spending it right

Here are some words.

The relationship between money and happiness is surprisingly weak, which may stem in part from the way people spend it. Drawing on empirical research, we propose eight principles designed to help consumers get more happiness for their money. Specifically, we suggest that consumers should (1) buy more experiences and fewer material goods; (2) use their money to benefit others rather than themselves; (3) buy many small pleasures rather than fewer large ones; (4) eschew extended warranties and other forms of overpriced insurance; (5) delay consumption; (6) consider how peripheral features of their purchases may affect their day-to-day lives; (7) beware of comparison shopping; and (8) pay close attention to the happiness of others.

If money doesn’t make you happy, then you probably aren’t spending it right – Journal of Consumer Psychology 21 

We live in a consumer world. This paper seems legit by me. Definitely worth keeping in mind.

hat tip Rahmin